Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
