Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
