Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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