he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
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I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
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So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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