Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
