i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize