it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
