Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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