id be glad to
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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