I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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