you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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