If that was your dad, he is hot
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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