im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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