He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So much rum. So many feels.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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