Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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