Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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