Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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