the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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