This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
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