i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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