that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
