she was so not down for the gang bang
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
