You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
