Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
