he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
