I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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