He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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