So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
