At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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