I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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