she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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