we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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