I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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