he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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