Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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