You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
