I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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