If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
