hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
