That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
