u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in