any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
birth control should be required to get into college
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just googled if crying burns calories
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.