Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT