So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
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my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
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I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?