I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
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I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?