I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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