$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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