He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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