Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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