hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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