You're my little dorito
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
