I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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