Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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