Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
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i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
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Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?