I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?