Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
one might say we're banned from that church
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
