everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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