Umm I'm too high to move.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
