Nicole vs. Life
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
