I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Boobs are out for the taking
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize