my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
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ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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