Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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