he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
