So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
