for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize